Ode to All Mothers

Mother’s day gives us the opportunity to honor all women who care for their children.  In most dictionaries, the word “Mother” is defined as a female parent.  It’s such a bland definition when you think about what it truly means to us, even if it varies slightly from person to person. This is because the definition only recounts the mere act of giving birth.  For many of us, it’s the years following the miracle of birth that captures the essential nature of motherhood.  

I was eighteen when I had my daughter Samantha. I had no idea what motherhood would mean to me, right up to the moment I paced the hospital corridors in agonizing labor pains.

It wasn’t until I first held her in my arms and I looked into her eyes that I finally understood. I was young and did most of my learning about motherhood and myself as an individual while raising her as a single parent. For many years it was just she and I and throughout the challenging years, there were lessons of love that stayed with me always. 

I finally knew what everyone meant. ​My life would never be the same. 

My life would be all about her and it is. 

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​I was thirty when I had my son Richie.  I looked forward to being a mother for a second time.

I couldn’t wait to experience that “first moment” with my son, a feeling I only knew when I met Samantha for the first time.  The movie reel brew of “love at first sight” pales in comparison to the first time a mother falls in love with her child the moment they first meet. 

With my son Richie, I learned that all though my experience as a special needs parent meant a completely different path, I learned of a love unconditional. Reaching milestones takes on a whole different meaning as a special needs parent. I hold every momentous memory dear to my heart. 

My life would never be the same. My life would be all about him and it is. 

​I was thirty nine when I first became a step-mother to Tiki.  For me, being a step-mother means learning about the ever-changing boundaries that are set by a young child. I fell in love with Tiki's contagious smile and kind heart.  I take great joy in his hugs, thoughtfulness, and love of family.  Tiki reminds me that motherhood takes on many forms. Tiki taught me that Motherhood and falling in loving with a child doesn't always have to begin at birth.

My life is never the same after meeting Tiki. I love him and learn with him always and still do.
  

When you first become a mother, you are running on automatic pilot, constantly improving and learning from experiences.   The word responsibility takes on a whole new meaning.  Things that once mattered lose its luster when you think about how vulnerable your new love is and how insignificant those things are in the grand scheme of things.   Your life goals change, qualities you once thought were virtuous are replaced with ones that morphed you from being corporate driven to noticing that the world you once knew suddenly transformed into a place in need of desperate change.

​There will be times when you will be challenged physically, mentally, and emotionally - so much so that you might feel broken down.  There will also be times when a smile, facial expression, or touch will make you feel confident and powered-up for whatever comes next. And as a mother, you’re willing to do anything to make your child happy and safe. 

I am a mother of children with and without disabilities and I absolutely love them un-equivocally.  Although this extraordinary sensation of love for them is identical, I look forward to caring for my son Richie who has autism the rest of my - hopefully – long life.  I can’t help it.  I wish for my children to be successful, independent, and happy. But I selfishly want to keep them close.  There is no drug more forcible or addicting that can stimulate devotedness like these kids can. And I’m hooked.  
  
I wish all mothers a very happy mother’s day.  You are truly valued, needed, appreciated, and honored.