In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I wanted to write a special post about a woman who is dear to me and anyone who knows her. If I had to describe Vinnetta in one word it would be “amiable.” Vee is a vivacious, energetic and athletic woman who has a genuine kindness and selflessness that reminds us all to try to be better people. This is her story. It’s about the fight of her life. It’s about how love, support, and faith helped her weather the shock of her diagnosis, the medicinal battle against a cruel disease and beyond her triumphant survival.
I chose to write this piece slightly different from my usual posts in the past. I felt that writing this in interview form would allow Vinnetta to share her story with the raw emotions that are best captured through one’s self-expression.
Let’s start with an introduction. Tell us a little about you, your family and your life.
We are a very tight knit family who is actively involved in our community. I’ve been married to my husband Junior for 18 years. We have two lovely teen daughters, Veajah will be 13 next month and Juveina is 17. I’m an avid netball player and I accomplished my recovery goal for tournament this year. One of my recovery goals was to return to playing netball in full participation, since I had stopped playing during my treatment phase in the past year.
Top Left: Veajah, Top right: Juveina, Bottom left: Vinnetta, Bottom right: Junior
When and how did you discover you had breast cancer?
I had discovered it during my first mammogram. I had just turned 40 and it was one of those things I was told to do and I did it. I got a call from my doctor telling me I needed to undergo more tests and that my results were abnormal and they needed to look into it further, but I thought it was nothing. I was told to go see a breast surgeon for having a biopsy and still I thought it would be benign. I didn’t think about fear or about it at all really. It wasn’t even a thought at the time – until I got the call. I was in McDonalds getting a meal at the drive-thru window when the doctor called me. I was annoyed at first because I thought it was a bill collector. As the doctor began to talk everything went into slow motion. I remember I got my food, pulled over in the parking lot and called back. I had just left my family at a soccer game and had a concert to go to so we happened to have driven separate cars and I was by myself. It was the longest drive.
Is there a family history of breast cancer?
There is no family history of breast cancer. This was an unexpected thing for me and my family.
Describe the process of telling your family and others about your diagnosis.
I remember calling my husband right after getting the news from the doctor and thinking, “I got this concert to go to.” I guess I should go and have fun. I thought I would use the “Scarlett Ohara” strategy and think about it tomorrow! But I didn’t make it out of the parking lot and broke down and cried. I called my friends and canceled the concert engagement. I decided to meet my husband instead.
"I turned to my faith totally. I felt that I alone couldn’t save me, my doctors alone couldn’t save me. I had to rely on my savior. I believe my faith played a huge role in my recovery."
How would you describe your journey with breast cancer?
It was hard, I’m not gonna say it was easy, but I had a lot of support and a lot of love. It was very rough emotionally. I’m a person who’s always on the go and from the moment I started treatment, it was draining from the beginning. I didn’t have any experience with cancer, even though I’ve done the walk year after year and donated, I had no idea what it took to go through the process. After doing my own research it became scary. There are many decisions that can lead to a lot of directions. At first, I thought about going about it alone. I thought about not telling my husband, dad, family – or anyone. Because I knew it was going to be painful and when people love you they share your joy and your pain. I didn’t want them to share in my pain. It was hard at first, but as time went by I did not regret sharing. I needed the support, I feel like it made it easier.
So, from the treatment I received, the approach I chose in telling others, the entire experience taught me how courageous I could be through the healing process. At the same time, a close friend was there with me. She had a friend going through the same fight and sadly she passed away in the middle of my treatment phase. That reality brought me to a dark place that I didn’t want to think about. I turned to my faith totally. I felt I alone couldn’t save me, my doctors alone couldn’t save me. I had to rely on my savior. I believe my faith played a huge role in my recovery.
So, from the treatment I received, the approach I chose in telling others, the entire experience taught me how courageous I could be through the healing process. At the same time, a close friend was there with me. She had a friend going through the same fight and sadly she passed away in the middle of my treatment phase. That reality brought me to a dark place that I didn’t want to think about. I turned to my faith totally. I felt I alone couldn’t save me, my doctors alone couldn’t save me. I had to rely on my savior. I believe my faith played a huge role in my recovery.
How did you garner support during this challenging time?
Once it put it out there, the support was overwhelming.
I’ve read about other survivors describing their experience with people generally offering their help, but it doesn’t usually extend passed the phone call (“Please call me if there’s anything I can do”). Was your experience similar?
No, I didn’t have that experience. I had everybody reaching out to me and constantly being in my space. It was actually overwhelming. My Netball team had a breast cancer awareness theme in support of me. They sent cards, fruit baskets, so many things. I didn’t have to ask. Neighbors, friends, family, colleagues – I didn’t just have people asking what they could do, they just did it.
Vinnetta’s voice starts to trail off as she became emotional thinking about the kindness of others. However, she wished to continue. These were humbled tears of remembered joy.
People were just doing things for me. Junior went to work – he met so many people and he shared our story with others and learned the stories of other survivors. He happened to meet this lovely woman who was also a breast cancer survivor and she asked to speak with me to offer her support. When we connected, she explained that she ran a cleaning company and offered her support by having someone come out and clean my house every three weeks until I got better. I have no words to describe all the beautiful gestures of support I received.
Who was your greatest source of support?
My husband was my greatest source of support. He was always there and made sure that everything is done. Our beautiful girls understood what was going on and tried their best to help. Junior made sure that I had no additional stress or worries. He was there every step of way!
Are there any misconceptions or false facts about Breast Cancer you would like to share with us?
No two breast cancers are alike. No two treatments are alike. You have to really listen to your oncologist and do the methods they prescribe. But make sure you inquire about each and every instruction and measure. You need to be diligent about doing your own research as well. My high-school friend’s wife and I were diagnosed at the same time, and she immediately chose to have both breasts removed without a thought for treatment options. People will have a different approach to how they choose to heal. You can still get cancer even after removing your breasts. I didn’t want to have surgery, that wasn’t something I was ready for. I had an advocate that was pushing for me to do that and I listened to her and my breast surgeon go at it on the topic! My doctor turned to me and said if it was his mom and his sister going through this, he would tell her to take the treatment route. And then went on to explain why. I figured, I’ll do the chemo first and give the tumor a chance to shrink and not think about this big surgical change. After treatment, the tumor and cancer was completely gone.
Do you have any “must have” resources to share with other Breast Cancer fighters and survivors?
Cancer society of America has amazing resources available. Research online and in your community for support groups. There is always a huge sense of kinship at support groups.
What advice would you give to someone newly diagnosed?
While at first it might seem like the best idea is to shield your family and friends by sparing them the grief of going through this arduous experience, don’t. Share your pain and don’t try to do it alone.
These days, Vinnetta and her family celebrate her victory over breast cancer with a sense of gratitude and new perspective on life. They welcome the deepened affection in their relationships. Every day is made to be counted. Every day is celebrated with a refreshed wonderment on life.
© 2017 Sensory Friends
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