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Celebrating Thanksgiving as a Special Needs Family

11/20/2016

20 Comments

 
Celebrating a Special Needs Thanksgiving
All family gatherings are special. The fall season is upon us and brings with it the Thanksgiving holiday. Families come together to celebrate and be thankful for having one another in each other’s lives. Special needs families prepare to celebrate the season’s festivities.  Although our experience is a little different, we are grateful for many things. 
Like many special needs moms, I experience the same anxiety and worries that comes with all the unknown outcomes that follow deviating from our family routine.  My son Richie has autism. Since Richie has difficulty communicating his needs, I worry all the time about how he feels.
What will Richie’s mood be like when he wakes up Thanksgiving morning?

Will he have a tummy ache or other pain I won’t know about?

Will we be able to leave the house without having an episode?

Will he be able to tolerate the different noises in another home?

How will he deal with a crowded home and all the other stimuli?

Will someone bring a screaming baby to the gathering (this noise always sets him off)? 

How many times will I need to excuse myself to calm him down?

Will Richie have an aggressive episode that frightens relatives and other visitors?  

Will I be able to handle the stares of unsuspecting new friends made?

Will I be able to hold it together (because sometimes I can’t hold it in and just break down –
it’s always so wonderful never to know when this will happen)?


​Will we need to leave early? 
These are not questions special needs parents ask themselves just on holidays or special occasions, it’s every time we leave the house. And it’s stressful, overwhelming and exhausting. While our family may have implemented a successful positive behavior support plan, it does not mean we always know exactly what’s going to take place in another person’s home. There will be moments we didn’t expect, and there will be things we didn’t plan on. However, there are some steps we can take to do our best to avoid some instances.
  • Review my positive behavior support or crisis plan – I already listed all the things I know could possibly upset Richie.  I can review my plan for the preventative strategies I already have in place and still use them in another person’s home. 
  • Review the day happenings with Pictures – When we leave the house to do something different, I like to explain to Richie where we are going, how long we will be and what he should expect. This year, I will be using pictures to help explain that we are staying in a hotel, visiting with family, and spending time with them at our aunt’s home. 
  • Pain killers and Preventative medicine – I know it’s possible for Richie to struggle with constipation and gut issues.  I can plan to deal with this by increasing his intake of probiotics or use a little more fiber in his food (Benefiber works great for him) the week prior, instead of dealing with it the day of our gathering. I can also make sure to have Tylenol or other pain killers (so long as it doesn’t interfere with any other medications) on hand if he shows signs of pain that day. 
  • Noise and Sensory Issues – I have recently started to use sound banks for working on getting Richie de-sensitized to certain noises that irritate him – but might be unavoidable when we’re in public (sirens, people yelling, baby screaming, etc.). I also like to bring some beanie bags he has in his room, because Richie likes to squeeze them and swing them around. They comfort him, so I carry one around if I think it might help soothe him. 
  • Too much stimuli or boredom – If there is a crowd and the room becomes too overwhelming for Richie, I will always have his MP3 player already equipped with his favorite music and headphones on hand. Music always soothes him and he loves it. I also make sure to have his iPad ready with is favorite apps to play and movies to watch. 
Like many moms and dads, I prepare as best as I can and I know that there’s always a chance I might have to cut my visit short. I hope I don’t, but I always know it’s possible.
All in all, I am so thankful for the many blessings I have in my life. 

Picture
I am thankful for my wonderful husband who is always loving, supportive and has my side. I am so lucky that he loves Richie and treats him as his own. 
I am thankful for my daughter, son-n-law, and step-son who love and adore Richie unconditionally and would do anything for him. It is not easy for them, and I am so thankful that I get to witness them exercise their love, advocacy and patience for him every day. 
I am thankful for Richie’s teachers, therapists and nurses for their hard work, extra care and dedication in making sure he has the best learning experience.
I am thankful for my best friend, who patiently listens to my struggle and pain. No matter how tense the situation, she still finds ways to make me laugh and help me keep my mind right. 
I am thankful for the kind neighbors and friends I’ve met over the years. They keep me laughing and have welcomed my son and family into their homes and lives. 
I am thankful for my family, both by blood and inherited by marriage. My son is always treated as an equal and not less. 
I am thankful for the many colleagues I have the privilege of working with on committees and projects. They became friends and instrumental in helping me learn about how to help Richie and others. 
I am thankful for my loyal readers, and for you reading this post right now!
I am thankful for the strength I find when I want to cry, crawl into my bed and just give up. 
I am thankful that Richie and the rest of our family is relatively healthy and in good spirits. 
I am thankful for Richie and his wonderful smile. He is the reason I write this blog, advocate for families and help others. He is the joy in my heart. He is all my reasons. 

Reversible Thanksgiving Christmas Wood BlockReversible Thanksgiving Christmas Wood BlockReversible Thanksgiving Christmas Wood Block

 

I hope that during the Thanksgiving festivities, whether things have gone smoothly, or you're surviving another melt-down, that you find a tender moment to be thankful for the blessings you have in your life. I wish you and your family a Happy Thanksgiving.

This post includes affiliate links to products. We may receive a commission if you purchase products from this site at no additional cost to you.  

​

Sincerely, Christine SensoryFriends

20 Comments
adriana
11/22/2016 10:23:58 am

I love that you ended this post with things you are thankful for <3 It's amazing to me that you have everything figured out to a science - it's so great! He is lucky to have a mom like you!

Reply
Christine Goulbourne link
11/23/2016 10:51:33 am

Thank you for your kind words, Adriana. Please now that I don't have everything figured out to a science, I wish I did. Like many parents, I'm trying really hard to get my son to lead a life of happiness and independence. Take care, friend.

Reply
Amber Myers
11/18/2019 02:06:27 pm

I love this post. My son has autism, so sometimes the holidays can be a bit much for him. I love your thankful list!

Reply
Tara Pittman link
11/18/2019 05:58:02 pm

Sounds like holidays are tough for your son. It is good that you are aware of his needs

Reply
Scott Gombar link
11/18/2019 08:25:10 pm

For me Thanksgiving is all about Family and Friends. It's a great time no matter what your family looks like or is dealing with. It's a time to relax, enjoy and slow down, unless you're the cook.

Reply
Marie Phillips link
11/18/2019 10:02:21 pm

We have a special needs grandson in our home. Over the years it has become easier to go with the flow of the holidays. But in our case it doesn't deviate a whole lot from the norm. Good for you for the steps you take to make it work out so well!

Reply
Agnes link
11/19/2019 01:45:25 am

I love the fact that you have a list of what to do with Richie, even though you may never be able to know what happens next. Your plan is so amazing and helpful to parents taking care of children with autism. I will always find a tender moment to be thankful for the blessings I have in y life.

Reply
Nyxie link
11/19/2019 02:22:58 am

We don't celebrate Thanksgiving over here. Despite the origin of the holiday, I think we could all use a holiday where we give thanks for the things we've been given.

Reply
cris link
11/19/2019 04:04:46 am

Love your post. We all have so many great things to be thankful for, but sometimes we tend to forget about them.

Reply
Cristina Petrini link
11/19/2019 04:19:16 am


This is the most beautiful time of the year, thanksgiving. To dwell on what and with whom we are grateful is wonderful.

Reply
Joanna
11/19/2019 04:24:34 am

I hope you will have an amazing Thanksgiving together with your dear ones and that there will be no incidents. It must be very hard to take all of those things in consideration when planning something. But for sure your son appreciates it, even if he might have difficulties showing it.

Reply
Krysten Quiles link
11/19/2019 06:39:35 am

Oh wow, I can imagine having a special needs child during the holidays can be challenging. Thanks so much for sharing this with all of us!

Reply
Cindy Nico link
11/19/2019 08:44:52 am

I am sure it can be difficult and sometimes really hard. Loved reading your post and it takes time to figure out what a special needs child really needs.

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Paulette link
11/19/2019 12:14:19 pm

With my little ones we often have to cut our family gatherings short. Just being there for an hour or two we still manage to have a great time and make memories. I hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving.

Reply
Alvern link
11/19/2019 01:02:23 pm

Oh dear, it is so tempting as a Mom to just decide to stay at home and don't go anywhere. However, it is probably better to make going out to these special occasion an annual routine for your son.

Reply
aisasami
11/20/2019 06:12:40 am

What wonderful tips and helpful ones too about special needs kids at Thanksgiving. Gatherings can be hard for them but it you made it easier.

Reply
Myrah Duque link
11/20/2019 12:33:27 pm

My neighbor has a special needs grandson. We usually visit for Thanksgiving and even though it does deviate the daily routine, we have managed to feel right at home.

Reply
Cindy Ingalls link
11/20/2019 03:24:02 pm

I think it is also important to get all of your family onboard with the plan for your special needs child. If they can help you and your child, it might take some of the pressure off.

Reply
fashionandstylepolice link
11/21/2019 10:37:00 am

Good to remain thankful even for the little things. It is so easy to take the little things for granted.

Reply
Ceci Rey link
11/21/2019 12:04:52 pm

You gave everyone a window of what it takes to have a special needs child. The holidays, having so much stimuli, is always a challenge. Thank you for sharing your story with everyone!

Reply

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